WHAT ARE YOUR MIRRORS SHOWING YOU?
When one has a problem, the logical solution is to think about the problem and create various outcomes or solutions to address what is wrong. This often leads to much analysis and perhaps worry about whether or not the solutions will work to address the problem. We tend to get caught in overthinking and the worry about what may come. Most of us are taught this method of problem-solving. Figure it out if it’s a problem, solve it and move on. While this method can be helpful in some situations, it can also keep us locked up in the same problem over and over again. When we just seek to find a solution to the current problem and are not seeking to explore the deeper issue, the problem will often present itself in another form.
Take for instance relationships. Perhaps you have been in a relationship where you don’t feel valued or appreciated. This imbalance leads to resentment and even anger. You begin thinking in your mind about how to solve this issue. Do you leave the relationship? Do you explain how you feel and hope for change? Do you just keep on in the relationship hoping the person will change?
I was in a friendship where I felt resentful because I wasn’t honoring myself. I was always wanting to ensure the other person was happy and I often sacrificed myself to make this happen. Doing favors, spending money on them I didn't have and doing things that ultimately left me resentful and feeling taken advantage of.
I decide to walk away from the relationship, as it wasn’t feeling good. Problem solved, right? Well not exactly! Because I was just looking for a solution to solve the immediate issue and I didn’t seek deeper and ask questions, such as, “why is this happening”? “What am I doing to create this”? Is there an opportunity for me to change a belief or pattern that I’m holding on to?”
Walking away created a temporary solution, but my lack of awareness to go deeper, just recreated the same situation in another relationship. If I really wanted to change, I would have asked myself those questions and began to uncover the deeper issues as to why this was occurring in my life. Through my journey, I’ve learned that everything is my creation and every relationship is a mirror in which for me to perceive myself. When I would move into blame or point a finger at someone else, I now know I was avoiding something within me that was requiring my attention.
I’ve also come to realize that all of our problems, issues, emotions, and feelings are ways for us to acknowledge when we’re not in self-love. Everything and every person is showing us what is going on inside and if what you’re seeing and experiencing is less than loving, there’s something within to explore.
This is the work I do on myself every day as well as with my clients. When we’re willing to not just solve the problem as an outside experience and go within to see what is being reflected, we free ourselves from repeating the same issue. This is a daily practice of awareness, self-reflection, asking questions, and being willing to take full ownership of what we’re creating. It’s not easy, but it is worth it because we are worth it!
I hope this message opens your heart a little more! Happy reflecting!
Much love,
Jen