What are your mirrors showing you?

WHAT ARE YOUR MIRRORS SHOWING YOU?

When one has a problem, the logical solution is to think about the problem and create various outcomes or solutions to address what is wrong.  This often leads to much analysis and perhaps worry about whether or not the solutions will work to address the problem.  We tend to get caught in overthinking and the worry about what may come.  Most of us are taught this method of problem-solving.  Figure it out if it’s a problem, solve it and move on.  While this method can be helpful in some situations, it can also keep us locked up in the same problem over and over again.  When we just seek to find a solution to the current problem and are not seeking to explore the deeper issue, the problem will often present itself in another form.

Take for instance relationships.  Perhaps you have been in a relationship where you don’t feel valued or appreciated.  This imbalance leads to resentment and even anger.  You begin thinking in your mind about how to solve this issue.  Do you leave the relationship? Do you explain how you feel and hope for change? Do you just keep on in the relationship hoping the person will change?   

I was in a friendship where I felt resentful because I wasn’t honoring myself.  I was always wanting to ensure the other person was happy and I often sacrificed myself to make this happen.  Doing favors, spending money on them I didn't have and doing things that ultimately left me resentful and feeling taken advantage of. 

I decide to walk away from the relationship, as it wasn’t feeling good.  Problem solved, right?  Well not exactly!  Because I was just looking for a solution to solve the immediate issue and I didn’t seek deeper and ask questions, such as, “why is this happening”?  “What am I doing to create this”?  Is there an opportunity for me to change a belief or pattern that I’m holding on to?” 

Walking away created a temporary solution, but my lack of awareness to go deeper, just recreated the same situation in another relationship.  If I really wanted to change, I would have asked myself those questions and began to uncover the deeper issues as to why this was occurring in my life.   Through my journey, I’ve learned that everything is my creation and every relationship is a mirror in which for me to perceive myself.  When I would move into blame or point a finger at someone else, I now know I was avoiding something within me that was requiring my attention. 

I’ve also come to realize that all of our problems, issues, emotions, and feelings are ways for us to acknowledge when we’re not in self-love.  Everything and every person is showing us what is going on inside and if what you’re seeing and experiencing is less than loving, there’s something within to explore.

This is the work I do on myself every day as well as with my clients.  When we’re willing to not just solve the problem as an outside experience and go within to see what is being reflected, we free ourselves from repeating the same issue.  This is a daily practice of awareness, self-reflection, asking questions, and being willing to take full ownership of what we’re creating.  It’s not easy, but it is worth it because we are worth it! 

I hope this message opens your heart a little more!  Happy reflecting!

Much love,

Jen
 

Priority #1 - LOVE YOURSELF

The saying goes, “we are our own worst critic,” and it is so true!  What I notice most about myself and the clients with whom I work is… we can be really mean and hateful to ourselves. We beat ourselves up for things we felt we should have done better and we often give little credit when appreciation is due.

I did not realize how negative my thoughts were about myself until one day I was at a spa taking a mineral bath.  I decided to go through each of my body parts and send loving thoughts to all of my body, piece by piece.  As I did this and moved around from my eyes, to my nose, to cheeks, chest, stomach and so on, I remembered all the nasty thoughts I had in my past about nearly EVERY single body part.

I had been completely unloving to myself and my physical body. I have had negative thoughts about my nose, my eyes, arms, stomach, thighs, hips, legs, head, feet, hands and on and on. The only body part that I never was cruel to was my ears and elbows!!  Pretty much everything else had been attacked in one way or another.

This is just one example of how my thoughts have been directed towards my body. I could spend another few pages talking about how mean I am about other aspects of my life, but let’s not go there today. You get the point.

I believe many of us experience these discouraging thoughts about ourselves. My goal here today is to let you know you are not alone in this experience. Nearly EVERYONE has these thoughts!

So, what can we do? I have a few tips that can help you shift the energy around how you feel about yourself. These have been effective for me as I am moving towards more self-love and acceptance. These suggestions also help to increase awareness about how you really are treating yourself.

SUGGESTIONS TO LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF A LITTLE MORE!

1. Look at yourself, or rather into your eyes every day in front of the mirror and tell yourself how much your love yourself. Let you know how amazing and wonderful you are.  (Sometimes, I can’t quite feel that emotion, so if I’m not “feeling” it that day, I ask that I love myself as much as source/god/creator/the universe loves me).
2. Find ways to appreciate yourself. Give yourself compliments and encouragement even if you just did something small.  Maybe you went for a walk instead of watching TV.  Give yourself a pat on the back.
3. Notice when you’re being “mean” or experiencing negative self-talk. Chose a mantra or a phrase that helps to shift from that experience.  My favorite is, “I love and accept myself just the way I am with unconditional love”! Repeat this as needed and even more powerful to do in meditation.
4. Journal or meditate about your feelings. Some of these lower vibration thoughts and feelings need a place to go and need to be acknowledged.  Release them by writing them out, by meditating on them or allowing the emotion to be expressed.  Sometimes we just need a good cry to let these go.
5. Practice vigilant self-care every day and every week. Do something every day that supports your well-being.  It could be taking a 10 minute walk or a 10 minute breathing meditation.  It could be to read an inspiring message from a book or article.  Then do something once a week that really makes you happy for at least an hour!
6. Be patient with yourself. You are here to experience these challenges to overcome them and ultimately come from a place of unconditional love for self and all.  I may be an idealist, but I believe that is our true nature to be in a state of LOVE and we can ALL get there!!

Coming from the perspective that loving yourself is your number one priority allows you to get in touch with who you really are.  It helps you to shift more quickly from less than desired feelings to feelings of joy, happiness, love and peace.  Isn’t that what most of us are striving for?  Enjoying life, helping others and feeling good? If you get in with and follow your heart, you will find your way back to LOVE!